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Saturday, 7 March 2009

Everyone's Watching The Watchmen... Who's Watching This Rubbish?

The Watchmen is a film which will have people talking for years. Stylish, intelligent and brutal, it is a fitting portrayal of one of the great works of literature of the 20th century. I'm still not sure to what extent I actually enjoyed watching it, but I am glad that I did. But anyway, Imdb's full of thoughtful, well-written reviews from the sort of thoughtful, eloquent people who appreciate graphic/comic art, it needs not another one from me. If NOMW is about anything, it's not about that, so instead a quick look at some other superhero adaptations, testament to a time not so long ago when Marvel (and, albeit to a lesser extent, DC) handed over full control of their cherished creations to the mercilessly crude marketing machines of Hollywood, resultant in dud after merchandise tie-in and product placement-laden dud.

Someone's kindly posted a great rundown of 15 of the worst superhero movies of all time, so I won't bother going over that ground here. Suffice to say, I can't take issue with too much of what the guy says, although it does pain me to see the wonderful Helen Slater featuring, and to be honest, I think if anything he's not hard enough on Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. Jon Cryer's Lenny Luthor is Jar Jar Binks' more irritating stepbrother, and it's hard to believe that even Golan and Globus thought that Milton Keynes would be suitable as a double for Manhattan. As with all cinematic shockers, there was a mound of unused footage, so much in fact that the wise old sages at Cannon films even considered reusing it in a fifth installment (good old Cannon), and the DVD commentary of the film is well worth a listen.

While the comic book adaptations of today are well constructed, faithful to the source material (and its often obsessive fanbase) and feature the obligatory big budgets and almost rope-free FX, we should spare a thought to remember those who gave so much in the cause of earlier efforts, for, ultimately, so little. Step forward Jack Kirby-fanatic Gary Goddard, the erstwhile director of 1987's 'Star Wars Of The 80s' Masters Of The Universe who filmed the final sequence with some mates with his own money, after Cannon (yes, again) did a runner despite the film lacking a finale. So too, the cast and crew of the ill-fated movie to end all ill-fated movies, The Fantastic Four, a film which may or may not have never been even intended for release. Not that that stopped them pouring their hearts and souls into the thing. I'm sure, even when faced with the slick package of an Ironman, some fans of the genre would have it no other way.

Talk about a silk purse from a sow's ear. Messyrs Goddard, Conti and the incomparable LaFontaine, take a bow.

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Moore, more power!

There are few things agreed on in NOMW towers. Surprising, I suppose, given only one person has to live in them. But anyway, one is that Roger Moore IS James Bond, and that all others just borrow his tux. Another is that Christopher Walken's 'leading French industrialist', Max Zorin, is the greatest Bond villain of all time. Now, it just so happens that those statements both refer to 1985's installment, A View To A Kill, thereby making it by process of deduction the greatest James Bond film of all time. Now, there is lots to be said about this film, but as I fear any such writings would take on the grim appearance of the sad fanboy's run-through of all the funniest lines ('I'm trying not to think about it', 'there's a fly in his soup', 'I'm an early riser myself', and just about anything Walken says for example) I'll refrain. For now. Instead, another inspired alternative ending, featuring the late and possibly great Geoffrey Keen as Sir Frederick Gray, delivering one of his classic chortles. Sorry for the lack of embedding, I couldn't do it for this for some reason.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5g8_KequV8

PS: It must be said that this ending is far preferable to the inexplicably awful one tacked on to the final cut by John Glen.

PPS: And for more high-brow fun, check out this bit of spacey hilarity!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdUHtIyz1j8&feature=related

Monday, 2 March 2009

That's Your Stick Buddy?

Cover versions are ghastly things. This is almost always the case. Whether it's Ronan Keating covering 'If Tomorrow Never Comes', Ronan Keating covering 'Time After Time' or Ronan Keating covering some other turgid ballad, there is nothing of any note added to the original other than a couple of extra layers of insincerity. Or, in the case of Madonna's 'American Pie', something far worse. And of course, if the artist in question actually does fundamentally change the original version, then it's even more pointless. A true hiding to nothing.

Of course, there are exceptions. Some songs seem to lend themselves toward being reinterpreted. Two which immediately spring to mind would be the groundbreaking Cameo funk/R and B classic 'Word Up', which Scots-rock merchants Gun managed to make sound equally as good with crunching guitars and gruff vox (although the less said about the Mel B hatchet job the better);and The Byrds 60s anthem 'Eight Miles High', covered by just about every band in history but most notably by Roxy Music, Golden Earring (they stretched it out to almost 20 minutes) and, in perhaps the most unlikely cover version of all time, AOR prog/poppers 3 (sure to be featuring not for the last time in NOMW), whose power-funk synth interpretation words cannot describe.

Anyway, a point to all of this. Robert Downey Jr, who really should have taken Heath Ledger's oscar this year for Kirk Lazarus/Lincoln Osiris (a comedic interpretation that will be celebrated 100 years from now), is also a surprisingly accomplished singer, as anyone who bought his 2004 solo album The Futurist will be aware. More excitingly to NOMW, he enlisted the production talents of Jonathan Elias, helmsman for Yes' 1991 mess Union (it wasn't his fault). Even better, it seems Mr Downey is himself a big fan of the great band, and so offered his own take on the first part of their 1971 hit (it did feature on the trailer for Tim Burton's Big Fish, so I'd say it qualifies), 'I've Seen All Good People', featuring (in a rarity for a cover) original vocalist Jon Anderson backing. And what do you know, it's even pretty good. More importantly, if this gets even one person to check out some real Yes, it'll have been worth posting.

 
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